“The Look” AI Art by me. An homage to my dear Sassa.

Once you’ve seen that look on her face, in her eyes, in her soft smile, there is no going back to regular/vanilla relationships.  There just isn’t.

I can only speak from the dominant side of the equation.  I don’t know what it is that the submissive sees or feels that does it for them.  All I know is that when I saw this sweet, shy yet powerful look directed at me — or for me —I was hooked.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with vanilla relationships or monogamy for those it works for, but the D/s or BDSM dynamic is a relationship that goes deeper than others.  I was married for a long time, have a family, and have seen my children enter their own relationships.  In my observations and experience, a valid, working dynamic between a dominant and a submissive is stronger and more honest.

Some would say this kind of connection is meant only for one person or another.  Seeking more than that or more of a power exchange than that is wrong or evil.  They are entitled to their opinions.  I see and feel it differently.  Even in my previous religion, the priesthood authorities would softly say that whatever happens between spouses behind closed doors and with consent is perfectly fine.  

The difference I have seen is that no religion, that I am aware of, teaches what to do behind those closed doors very well or at all, in some cases.  The area I live in and my previous religion are great for teaching and creating submissive spouses. Still, they do absolutely nothing to teach the Head-of-Household how to care for and handle a submissive spouse.  This leads to significant frustration on both sides.  

The look I mention is one of abiding trust, devotion, and a burning desire to serve the dominant who is receiving it.  Oh, the dominant has their own responsibilities, too.  It isn’t just do this, do that, and no return on the submissive’s investment of time, energy, and emotions.  No, dominants take care of the things the submissive doesn’t want to do or needs help doing.  The dominant helps quiet the myriad of voices in the submissives’ heads.  Most need someone to ground them in peaceful places in their minds.

The feelings and emotions behind this expression should be what a dominant craves and looks for in their submissive.  It should never be one of fear or being forced.  It is something that is given freely and with a whole heart.  Too many people say they are dominant but have no clue how to do it beyond shouting, degrading, or demanding.  This isn’t how it works.  

I’d try to explain it, but let those who have ears hear and those who have eyes see.  I’ve tried to explain it before. The others will continue to do as they have and will do in the future.  All I know is I love and adore the devotion and submission I receive from the submissives I have and have had in my life.  Thank you to all of them, wherever they may be.