AI art by me

“To be obeyed is to know I am acknowledged as Dominant or Master,” He told her.

She shivered and squirmed.  “To be commanded and obey is to be claimed as sub or slave, Sir.”  Her voice was a bare whisper.

Thus are things with what I will call The Draw.  Some people call it attraction, lust, or desire, but in our Lifestyle, it is something else.

I firmly believe the sub or slave knows when they meet the one they wish to collar them.  Is The Draw foolproof?  No.  It has near-misses like most everything else, but when it clicks on both sides, then it is undeniable like the tide or gravity.

Recently, I asked for input on what “earning their submission” means to a submissive, and I got a great response.  One response I liked that was verbally given to me rather than posted, “Some doms want a checklist of what they need to do.  I don’t like giving that because they’ll come back with they’ve checked all the boxes, so why am I not kneeling?”  This submissive expressed that it isn’t a checklist of things so much as it is a feeling or knowing.

Many times, I have been told it takes lots of time and communication before a dynamic can happen.  I agree that it takes a lot of each to create a successful dynamic, but does it require them to start one?  From my experiences, no, it doesn’t.  I don’t think I’m baffling them with bullshit.  I guess when I feel a draw, then acting on it to have them respond in kind leads to the next step in the tango.

Does this mean I’ve always been correct?  Hell, no.  I’ve made plenty of mistakes or missteps.  I’m sure I will make more.  It does mean that my most enriching and deepest dynamic/relationships happened much quicker than conventional wisdom would have dictated.  Is it just me?  I don’t know, but I do know what The Draw feels like.  I do know how it feels when it is reciprocated.  I also know the strength of the bond it creates is stronger than any collar I could place on the sub or slave’s neck.  

The real commitment, the real connection, the acknowledgement and acceptance of roles often comes way before the collar is placed, the promises are made, the dynamic is more completely defined.  That’s how I see it.