I do not know the artist or the painting.

I wrote this to post on FetLife today so some of it may sound strange or curious, but I still think the ideas in it hold up in the blogosphere, too.

“Love looks not with eyes but with the mind; And therefore is wing’d Cupid painted blind.”  – A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Shakespeare.

The quote does go on to compare it to a child that is easily beguiled, but the idea still holds and is very important to understand and embrace.

Sadly, there are a plethora of people, predominantly of the male persuasion, who look with their eyes, not their mind or heart. They look with their favorite squeeze toy, which resides somewhat below their belt.  Some would be correct!  

I’m not going to be a hypocrite and say I don’t enjoy a fine figure, shape, or form, but after as many years as I’ve been studying the gender I am attracted to, faces age, bodies change, skin moves, time is not a respecter of anyone’s looks.  

Those who seek only the “golden gods or goddesses” to adore, like, follow, DM, and chase will find that gold is a cold comfort in the darker times when you need a friend, a lover, or a partner to fight alongside you, instead of just being a pretty face or a bottom.  That is where the true beauty lies.

Eyes are the windows to the soul, and I suggest you look into the eyes of those you are prizing to see what is behind them.  Please look for wit, intelligence, humor, sarcasm, articulation, and whatever else engages your mind as well as your body.  

You need a person who not only doesn’t look away from our warts and blemishes but also helps us with them as best they can, and we do the same for them.  This shouldn’t be a surprising kind of transaction since all power dynamics are some form of feeding each other: sadist to masochist, master to slave, Daddy to babygirl, on and on.  

I find it amusing or interesting that everyone is much more comfortable calling it a “dynamic” instead of a “relationship.”  It is possible to justify the differences between the two, but I see more sameness than opposition.  A relationship is relating to someone, and they relate to you.  How is this not what a dynamic also is?  Perhaps it is because one word sounds more transactional and the other scarier?  

In any case, see past the glitz, glitter, and glamor to the person inside and find the worth there.  Conversation, respect, and kindness should be the order of the day in communication between people who, by the fact that they are here, are seeking someone to relate to or engage with.