This post answers a request from the user Discover and Explore.  They asked me to explain how sadism works.  Not wanting to hijack shae madigan’s blog where the question was asked of me in a comment, I told them I’d post an article here.  It’s a subject that is rather crucial to understand if a reader wishes to comprehend better the motivations of the Doms/Masters I write about, as well as something I am myself.

The term “sadism” was coined in the 19th century by German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing in his work Psychopathia Sexualis (1886), where he used de Sade’s name to describe the psychological phenomenon of sexual gratification through inflicting pain or humiliation. De Sade’s writings provided a vivid literary basis for this concept, as they explored the psychological and philosophical dimensions of power, control, and taboo desires in unprecedented ways for his time. His works were not merely pornographic but also philosophical, arguing for the rejection of moral constraints and the embrace of individual desires, no matter how extreme. This radical stance, combined with his detailed depictions of cruelty, made his name synonymous with the perverse enjoyment of others’ suffering, cementing his legacy as the Poster Boy for sadism.

Giving credit where credit is due, I got the previous paragraph from Grok (Elon’s version of Chat-GPT). It made sense to let AI make a concise definition instead of me haphazardly guessing at it.  The term masochism derives from the name of Chevalier Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, an Austrian who wrote extensively about the satisfaction he gained by being beaten and subjugated.  A masochistic submissive is a perfect match for a sadistic Dom/Master.  They feed each other’s sexual fetishes or needs quite nicely, or they can if each respects the other’s limits and abilities.  Humiliation is something also associated with both sides of this coin that is often referred to as Sadomasochism or S & M.  Many people equate the SM of BDSM to these two words: sadism and masochism.  There’s a lot of debate about the truth of that.

Now to how it actually works out.  I can’t speak for or wish to speak for all sadists.  I can only speak for myself and what I’ve seen or learned.  For me, sadism means I get aroused sexually by inflicting pain on someone or getting them to do it to themselves in obedience to my commands.  The latter is necessary for online dynamics, as I am not physically there to administer the spanking, paddling, etc.  I cannot screw closed the nipple clamps or add weights.  The submissive must do this herself and pretend it is I doing it.

I know this sounds rather…what? Ludicrous?  However, as some readers have already stated in comments on other articles, I have more than a few readers who have done and continue to do such a dynamic where they inflict the pain upon themselves for the sake of their Dom/Sir/Master.  For all of them, they still experience the endorphin rush and sexual arousal as if the dominant were there doing it.  This DOES NOT work for everyone.  Can a submissive be trained to enjoy it?  That’s another considerable debate.  I’m on the side of yes, they can, because I have done it more than a few times in training women new to being submissives.  Is it a case of my training them or me connecting well with those more likely to enjoy it?  Good question that I’m not going to try to answer.

From what I’ve learned, I’m not an extreme sadist.  The extreme ones go for some serious stuff like Blood Play (which is pretty much what it sounds like).  I recently learned about “breadboarding,” which is using staples or something to attach and stretch the flesh of the submissive to a wooden board (hence breadboarding).  The use of surgical needles is another thing that extreme sadists and masochists enjoy.  I’ve not used it more from a lack of interest from any submissives I’ve had, but it isn’t something I crave.

Bondage isn’t part of sadism, but it can be.  It’s like they are both fruits, but it’s an apples-and-oranges kind of thing.  The same is true with Humiliation in all its varied forms.  I do enjoy using a little of it in testing the obedience of a submissive in public situations, but I’ve mostly been with submissives who are against involving non-concenting vanillas in our dynamic.  It’s a good point but some dominants don’t care.

If I had a submissive misbehave or act up in a public area, I wouldn’t spank them or paddle them in front of all.  However, if we were at a Munch or an Event with like-minded people?  Over she goes to get a proper bare-assed spanking no matter who can see it.  One that straddles the line is using my thumb.  In an adults at a restaurant situation, I’d feel comfortable holding my thumb out and expect her to lean over or kneel to suck it into her mouth as if giving oral sex.  Some would always make their sub kneel and do the thumb service.  This is a way to exercise control and put her in her place.  It also rubs on my sadistic button because it causes emotional pain or humiliation in the submissive.

My interests in inflicting pain usually have to do with the bottom/ass.  This would include all usual “punishments” such as spanking, paddling, strapping, whipping, etc.  I’ve recently learned that the pleasure of applying leather to a bare bottom holds a lot of appeal for sound, feel, impact, and after-effects.  Speaking of aftermath, I feel that a day my sub isn’t marked by me somewhere is wasted.  I’ve also recently learned the exhilaration of using a flogger for light and high-impact play.  Everything I’ve mentioned in this paragraph would go under Impact Play in the parlance.

How far am I willing to go with these things? As far as the submissive will let me.  This is where the use of a system like color (green, yellow, red) and safewords (a word that hits pause on everything) becomes very important.  The submissive must trust the dominant to adhere to the limits discussed, and the dominant WILL NEVER go past what has been allowed.  To break a limit during a session or play is a cardinal sin among sins.  A submissive in a session is very likely to be overloaded with endorphins and hit what is called “subspace.”  This euphoric state is where the brain shuts down and decision-making is significantly compromised.  It’s a bit like the choices you make when drunk are nowhere near what you would decide if sober.  Some unethical dominants take advantage of subspace to inflict more pain or humiliation than was agreed upon earlier.  BAD!  That’s very BAD!!!

This isn’t anywhere near a comprehensive look at sadism, but it is sufficient for now.  I hope this helps clear things up for any readers who have been curious about sadism.  I am no expert in explaining these things.  I’m just trying to teach what I can, and I encourage those reading to study it for themselves to learn more.  I’m open to answering questions about further curiosities or clarifying anything.