AI art by me

To quote the inspiration of this post, “I am riffing off of” something she said in a recent article.  I am referring to shae madigan.  Her blog is listed in my Reading Room, and I highly recommend it for those with more than a passing interest in D/s dynamics and D/s Slave dynamics, as she puts it.  

Her comment was on the symbiotic relationship of the Dom to his submissive.  She was pointing more to the need for the sub to be intelligent and have time where she is built up as a lady, so it is more entertaining and satisfying to tear her down to the base, kneeling, begging, submissive, she truly is.  I fully agree with this assessment, but wanted to add one of my own.

It has come to h attention that Submissive’s thrive on attention. Somewhat like a flowering plant, if they a nurtured well then they will grow strong and happily share their blooms. Whereas when they are neglected, no flowers spring forth.

This made me think of the symbiotic relationship between Dom and sub.  I specifically want to point out the need for attention.  In my travels and experience, I have found that one of the most potent aphrodisiacs is giving a woman the proper attention she deserves.  If this woman is a submissive, then she is starved for attention!  In her heart-of-hearts, she feels unworthy of garnering attention, so she becomes thrilled, excited, and even aroused when it is given.  

Dominants might like to portray themselves as lone wolves or lions in the world’s tundra, but it just isn’t true.  A Dom who doesn’t want any attention isn’t really a Dom.  We want and crave that attention, that affirmation as much as, if not more than, our submissives.  We want to be needed, wanted, yes, obeyed, but ultimately seen and appreciated for our dominant efforts at organizing, helping, and holding accountable our submissives.  

The term “needy submissive” is a pretty standard description that is mentioned by both sides of the collar. It refers to a sub’s need to be played with, listened to, kept satisfied, and so forth. I would also like to point out that there are “needy Doms,” too!  There are some Doms, and yes, I am one of them, who are a bit much for the average submissive to handle because we command their attention a lot more than they are used to having it be held.

I would also like to postulate that the submissives who “put up with” their needy Doms are also some of the happiest, most fulfilled, and sated submissives around.  It’s the give-and-take, the quid pro quo, and all the other comparisons.  We each need attention in our own ways and feed each other.”  This is also a prevalent phrase in D/s dynamics.  It can also refer to the tight relationship of a sadist with his masochist.

It’s taken me a few experiences to realize and understand just how much a lovely masochistic submissive needs more than just wants to be hurt by her sadistic Dominant.  We could go into the chemical physiology of this and talk about the addiction to the heightened endorphins over time, but boiling it down to that also boils down the idea of love-at-first-sight, being IN love, etc.   

So, the cycle will continue, the lifestyle will be lived, and both parties in this sensual Yin and Yang arrangement will be happy and content. Their affirmation buckets will always be filled by their partner-in-crime. This is the way it should be.