Grey Man's Memoirs

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Grey Man

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NEWS: Plain Plaid Fun

I have returned from the wars. No, I had fun attending the PLAID fundraising “May the Fourth Be With You” event. The above picture is one of the prizes I won in a grab bag of Star Wars themed stuff. There were also playing cards, metallic crayons, a coloring book, two pairs of Star Wars themed socks: Grogu and Boba Fett. There were also two Death Star or Disco Ball drink thingies: shiny metallic-looking faceted balls with a lid and straw built into it. Oh, it came in on of the reusable shopping bags with C3PO and A2D2 on it. I was sad to not win a couple of the really cool looking paddles that were being raffled off. You could buy tickets then place half of it in the container by the grab bag or whatever and they’d do a drawing.

It was very interesting to see people “letting their hair down” or, in some cases, going fairly topless and somewhat bottomless unless they held very still. Were these modelesque people? No, they were normal folk with normal body shape but it was still quite enjoyable. It was my first time telling a woman with mostly bared breasts that I thought they were lovely. There was a very attractive Darth Vader Domme who had the actual key on a chain around her neck and nestled between her shapely bosoms. I almost asked about it and she’d have told me, I’m sure, but I kind of thought it was a symbolic key rather than a real cock cage key. It seemed to large for one of those to me. She did make an announcement about a group she’s starting that are people interested in learning more about FemDom. She was very fun to talk with and complimented my “he/him/Sir ;)” hat.

The group made way more money than they’d thought possible. This was nice. After they did a total towards the end, two of the admins went around with wide eyes for a bit. They had Venmo and Cash contributions plus buying food. Speaking of which, I have a question. I am not a person who frequents bars mostly due to not drinking. I have enjoyed going with friends to them and singing along with the band, etc. I’ve even done karaoke before! My question is…is it normal to buy a soda (Coke Zero for me) and then get free refills? I went in to get it refilled and expected to have to pay again for it but they didn’t charge, and I promise I wasn’t too distracted by the bartender wearing a crocheted crop-top with a lot of eyelet holes. Like I said, one did get a an eyeful.

Now, I said it was fun but it wasn’t a lot of fun because I’ve noticed a big difference in meeting people in person versus online etc. To me, it is a lot easier and faster to get to know someone online than in person. There are a lot of barriers, walls, insecurities, etc that come with an in-person meeting.

My conclusion would be that perhaps I prefer online because that’s what I am more used to? I’d argue that with the point that seeing me in person is…to me…radically different from you meeting my ideas, my imagination, and my mind. Although, on the other side of that, I did know a submissive who knew me well from online but had her doubts of my ability to actually Dom her when we played by voice. She got a very pleasant surprise but it did, in fact, surprise her.

Oh, I’ll keep going to these things and meeting more people. Nothing can be accurately judged by two occurrences that weren’t even meant to be “getting-to-know-you” things like Munches. There’s one of those this Tuesday so I’ll let you know how that goes. I will admit to wondering if any of my PLAID friends read this blog. The link is in my FetLift profile so they could.

Responses to “NEWS: Plain Plaid Fun”

  1. jayeelisewrites

    I’m so glad you went and that the event was a success! 🙂

    The online versus IRL struggle is real, to be sure. Engaging in real life – with all the additional masks, posturing, and insecurities this can sometimes prompt (in ourselves as well as in others) – requires a separate skillset. And, like any other skill or muscle, it’s one that we need to use and flex and cultivate in order to develop it. Not easy, but definitely worth it!

    And it sounds like you’ve enjoyed it enough to keep going – LOVE it! Best of luck at the upcoming munch, Jon!

    Reply
  2. nora girl

    I am glad to read about your experiences at the in-person event, Jon. Sorry to hear you didn’t win a paddle though…that would have been fun!!! I do appreciate the vulnerability and candor you bring to this post, and your willingness to reflect on this experience. While I am obviously a huge fan of meeting lifestyle people in the online forum, I personally think that there is a lot of room for assumptions (as we don’t have social cues to read, we just assume that the person is nodding in agreement, smiling at what we said, etc.) which means oftentimes, the person ends up not being who we thought they were when the exchange is moved to telephone or zoom (or, in person). I’ve had this happen a few times and always feel a bit shocked when the person doesn’t measure up to who I built them up to be in my mind, or when the energy connection just isn’t there in real-time.

    Meeting kinksters in person takes a lot of guts. I really admire that you went to this event as I have yet to go to one myself. I think that in some ways, only meeting online feels far safer. In some ways, online spaces let our inner world take the spotlight…our thoughts, imagination, desires. We can say anything online without really worrying about what others think. But in person, we bring the body, the energy, and the moment. It can feel messier, riskier, but it can also be more honest in a way. There is a certain power of meeting a Dom in person (or in my case, on Zoom). That moment when you realize a Dom can actually bring presence, command, and intuition into the dynamic…wowza!

    I agree that it was better NOT to share the story you wrote about the one you refer to as Hazel Eyes in a space where she might see it. Most real-life women would probably think it was a little creepy to have a story like that written about them after a single meeting (unless during that meeting, she had expressed her consent and mutual desire and attraction to you). As you were pointing out, what is acceptable in a strictly online connection can feel far different from real life interactions.

    I am grateful you shared your experiences here, Jon. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I am glad to hear that you will go to future in-person events. I hope you find that connection you are looking for 😊

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      Well….there are a few things that changed since I last posted I wasn’t going to put that story on Fet. Sufficeth to say, I rolled the dice and she and I exhanged some PMs on Fet. She isn’t just being nice or kind so I went ahead and posted the story there. It’s fine and I’ve heard from her since though not in regards to the story. Funny thing, it got liked by another person from the group which was cool.

      If you see my comment on shae’s blog, it’s what I’ve further observed about me versus other Doms I’ve met so far. I’ve yet to find one (not that I’ve met a lot) that is like me.

      I’ve also PMed with a couple folks to see if they are going to the Munch tomorrow night and that’s been positive as well. Hazel has plans that night.

      Thanks for your comments and unending support. I know I can always count on you to be in my corner and that means the world to me. XOXO 🩶

      Reply
      1. Grey Man

        nora you were correct as usual. I shouldn’t have posted the story. Just found out it was not well received at all. Sigh. Live and learn.

      2. nora girl

        I am sorry to hear this, Jon. Hopefully upsetting her doesn’t cause a rift in your new community. Try to go slowly, my friend. Building meaningful relationships, where there is trust and mutual respect, takes time and patience ❤

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