Grey Man's Memoirs

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Grey Man

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Random Questions #3-5

AI art by me

We haven’t done one of these in a while so I decided to ask more than one question of our “studio audience.”

#3. What are three of the favorite feelings you as a submissive like to be made to feel by your Dom, or for Doms – what three do you like your submissives to be made to feel? Explanations in each case, if you please?

#4. Where is the line between submissive and slave to you? Where does one stop and the other begin? Is it a thin line or a wide one? (Yes, a 3 parter).

#5. When does lust become love? Or, perhaps better, when does making love becoming fucking?

Thanks ahead of time to those willing to answer and discuss the above questions!! It takes a village…right??

Responses to “Random Questions #3-5”

  1. Christian_who

    First: Contempt for me as a person. Disrespect as an individual. Being made to feel worthless.

    I am merely a submissive. Never a slave.

    Love does not exist for such a worthless person. The femdoms I know take payment for disrespecting me as a person.

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      Thanks for your honesty, Christian.

      Reply
  2. VanillaW

    #5 : for me, the question is more “when does love become lust ?”. With some nuances ^^

    I’m unable/uninterressed in having lust if I can’t feel an emotional and/or intellectual connection first, and if I don’t know my partner to some intimate degree. It doesn’t mean that each “connection” leads to lust, but this connection is a sine qua non condition. Whithout empathy, I will feel nothing for the most handsome/reputedly attractive guy/girl in the world. Consequently, I’m able to feel lust for someone who won’t be considered as “physically attractive” by common standards (well, that said, my companion is very handsome, but what has turned me on was his wittiness and the presence in his glance). That’s also why we can fall for fictionnal characters and so easily fantasize.

    By the way, in the beginning of a relationship, all the feelings are mixed up and confused, and I think that lust happens before the strongest part of love (but with the emotionnal/intellectual connection), because your body has strong reactions of its own. It’s not necessarily arousal (for me, it has always been a strong wave that comes physically from the heart and make the head spin, the glance blur, the legs trembling, etc…). You’re actively (and a bit selfishly) looking for sensations, during this time, and you can totally have a misrepresentation of your partner (and bounding with a pure product of your imagination). You can also enjoy being very flirty, but feeling suddenly repulsed when the flirt partner express their desire for something more that you don’t really want (or for what you aren’t quite ready).

    So, in my point of view, feeling lust is a personnal choice – conscient or not, something that we can chose to let happen (or to listen, when you can’t control the physical reaction of arousal) under certain conditions. Each of us can take it very differently, in that regard.

    When the “frenzied time” is over, you can really test the validity of the bounds you made : can they survive without (constant) lust/emotion ? Can lust really be summoned at will in a loving context ? Or whithout love ?

    Well, that’s when I see that I answered to a “why” but not really to the “when” ^^.

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      Nice to hear from you again and thanks for your effort. I completely understand what you are saying. It was a new concept for me to learn early on in my adulthood that women really do need a REASON for sex other than attraction/lust.

      The old saying is an old saying because it is true. Women need a reason, men just need a place. (and they aren’t too picky about the place either). I know I am generalizing but there is truth in it.

      I am also a firm believer in seducing the mind and the body will follow, not the other way around. This might have to do with the fact that in sapio circles I might be considered quite a catch while in those who admire brawn and musculature would not find me too fascinating. I’ve also hinted at it a bit or just said it but I am also handicapped which also put me at a disadvantage in the early years when girls were much more focused on looks than brains.

      Reply
      1. VanillaW

        Thank you for replying, you put some other things to think about. When you say “reason”, do you think to something “rationnal” (because for me, it has no rationnality at all, but yes, there is a reason) ?

        I don’t know if this perception of the “difference” between men and women comes from our respective countries (I’m from France) or from the people we bound with. For my part, I can’t remember a single man (apart from my companion) with whom I interracted (and who at some point began to express more than friendship) who expressed lust toward me before having showed intellectual and/or emotionnal interrest. I even remember one was very hurt to hear me saying men were only looking for bedding girls. But my point of view can also be totally influenced by my own “standards” and the way I act. Younger, I was very guarded and physically distant and the only way boys could bound with was with their brain. So, it’s totally possible that I just never attracted the boys only interrested in the bed. Or I never really paid them attention. But, once again, my companion seems to have broken some kind of wall here : we were physically attracted before bounding (but I have played very hard to get, and we have had time to make our bound intellectual and emotionnal when I slowly learnt to let my guard down).

        I have learn a new word today : “sapio”. I noticed that american people have a strong habit to create categorizations and put people in these categorizations ^^. On one hand, wording these “categorizations” make people who recognise themselves as such visible and existing for others, that’s a good thing. On the other hand, it can also imprison and be extremely reducing, especially when you begin to define people with their “categorization” before their humanity.

      2. Grey Man

        Fascinating to learn more about you, V. By “reason” I mean women need more than just the biological imperative. It doesn’t need to be rational per se.

        Glad you learned a new word! I love the term sapiosexual. It describes so many of us in the blogosphere I am very much male so a finely turned curve or two can be enough to get my interest but to secure it I need her to have intelligence and be articulate or willing to try.

        I did have a submissive who did everything I wished and had no thought but my happiness. It would seem the ideal dream but it was so BORING!! I was the one to end it and she never really understood why.

        As shae has said in her blog, the higher and stronger the woman is then the more sweet is her submission and obedience. I am attracted to smart, capable, almost bitchy women. The ones who, like in my No Fair story, must be pushed a little into submission and will acknowledge it in their choice but they might not be happy about it at first.

  3. jayeelisewrites

    I’ll go with Question #3! Thanks for asking! 🙂

    1. Powerful – A skilled Dom can bring out the absolute best in me through my submission, and there is an inherent power that comes with this. It’s as if, by him grounding me in my submission, I can reach heights that would be impossible in any other context. There are few things sexier than this, in my book.

    2. Challenged – I love it when a Dom can keep me guessing, make things interesting, adapt on the fly, create intriguing predicaments for me navigate, and generally keep my mind engaged at all times…well, at least until the subspace hits, that is! 😉 😈 Smart subs require smart Doms. Without that challenge, the dynamic falls flat for me.

    3. Disciplined – I appreciate structure, guidance, swift correction, and follow-through. It might seem that “disciplined” and “powerful” would be incompatible, but honestly, when these two aspects come together in the right measure, it is positively glorious! The Dom takes the power he’s unleashed and channels it – disciplines it – into even deeper submission and fulfillment. It’s absolute bliss…

    Reply

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