AI art by me (I can do 16:9, I just usually don’t.)

 Ice play is the use of ice or ice cubes to achieve a sensation similar to that of hot wax, but with a cold effect.  A significant difference would be that ice play can come in handy as a treat or reward after some lovely abuses to tender nipples from clamps, etc.  In this case, the soothing cool in juxtaposition to the pain before makes for a scintillating sensation in the submissive.  This can lead to deeper, broader feelings of submission and illicit pleasure.  “It shouldn’t feel so good, but it does!”  

Ice play is simpler and easier to handle than wax play.  Ice play just needs some ice cubes, which can then be applied to various parts of the body or even directly into the body!  It’s wise to use an insulated container for the ice cubes so they don’t all melt too quickly before you’re done playing with them.  It’s also smart to have a couple of towels handy, since the ice will melt and make a wet mess.  Of course, wet messes are something a submissive should already know how to prepare for, right?

A fun possibility is icing nipples just before clamping them. As they warm up, there is a delayed reaction to the clamps that can be enjoyable to the sadistic Dom and masochistic submissive.  Another fun thing is to ice the nipples for a time, then use a hot mouth/tongue to change their temperature quickly.  There are all kinds of possibilities. Please feel free to share other ideas in the comments below.  It takes a village, right?  Isn’t that what they meant?

A smaller part of ice play would be for comfort or aftercare.  The use of cold packs or even the simple device of using a bag or two of frozen veggies to allow a submissive to sit on can create some nice relief from a particularly intense session, resulting in a very sore, heated bottom.  The quick reaction of the numbing effect can cause a euphoric response in the submissive and strangely makes them look forward to a blistered bottom to feel the sweet relief of the ice pack or bag.

Candles hold a tremendous amount of fascination for many reasons: light, ambiance, scent, holidays, birthdays, a lone light in the darkness, and a sense of security.  Another way to use candles is through wax play.  To be clear, this involves using hot candle wax being dripped onto bare flesh, which can produce sensations of burning, pain, and cooling.

I will rely heavily on an article from the Sexual Health Alliance website.  I’ll put the link at the bottom of the article, but I’m paraphrasing nearly everything that they say there.  This isn’t something I can spout off without a firm foundation in facts and responsible references.  

Wax play is on the other end of the spectrum of ice play.  It also needs a lot more preparation and cleanup.  Using wax play is something that should be discussed well before engaging in it.  For some, it is a fetish, for others it is a soft limit (meaning they’re willing to try it with a lot of discussion), while for others it will remain a hard limit (no way, no how).  Please, respect the limits set by your submissives!  Submission is a gift and not a right.  Obedience is given and not coerced.  D/s dynamics rely on being consensual. Due to the high risk associated with wax play, it is essential to be aware of the safety precautions to take before engaging in this activity. 

Make sure to have a cool cloth, a first aid kit, a fire extinguisher, and access to water all nearby at all times. Emotional safety is an additional thought that should be followed through. 

Giving aftercare to your partner after any play is a great way to help them cope with the sudden drop in hormones after sex, which can result in negative feelings. This could involve hugs, cuddles, or, in this specific situation, helping to remove the wax after it has cooled.

 When it comes to the candles themselves, be sure to read the ingredients! Avoid candles made of beeswax, typically found in the home section of your local supermarket. These candles burn hot and will burn you! 

Focus on candles that are made for the body; shea butter and soy are great alternatives. Scented paraffin candles burn between 120°F and 135°F. In contrast, beeswax candles, being long-lasting and natural, typically burn at a temperature of 145°F to 170°F. Soy candles fall somewhere in the middle, with a medium burning temperature—between 135°F and 145°F. An additional benefit of soy candles is that the wax cools quickly when it comes into contact with the skin. There is also the option of massage oil candles. These types of candles are softer and turn into a massage-like oil when they come into contact with the skin, making them a great way to ease into the concept of wax play.  You don’t want to use anything that burns at too high a temperature! Testing the wax on a well-used fingertip would be a good way to confirm things.

For an easier job cleaning up, having an old towel or plastic covering to protect the floor or bed where the receiver will be lying down can help. Be mindful of your surroundings as well; make sure all areas are safe and free from flammable materials. 

Also, be aware that having wax stuck on body hair can be painful and time-consuming to remove. Some don’t mind this additional effort and find that a loofah or butter knife can be a valuable tool for removing stubborn wax. Others may prefer to shave the areas where the wax will be in contact—it is entirely up to you! 

Just remember to communicate with your partner(s) beforehand, ensuring you are all knowledgeable and comfortable with what’s going to happen. Set guidelines as to where you are and are not happy for wax to be dropped onto.

The further away from the skin the wax is dropped, the safer it is, as this allows the wax to cool further. In terms of wax placement, a general rule of thumb is never to let the wax go above the shoulders, because you have no control over it potentially landing on the face and causing a health risk. Never pour wax on an open wound or near any genitalia. 

As always, communication is key to making this work. Talk to your partner(s) before, during, and after the scene. If you want to incorporate bondage or blindfolds, make sure to discuss boundaries and safe words or actions that can stop the scene if it gets too intense or you become uncomfortable — this way, everyone involved can remain safe when things get warm.

Hopefully, this was some help to those interested in broadening their kink horizons.  As I said earlier, please add any comments, suggestions, or clarifications if I got something incorrect.  I’m not trying to say I know it all or even much of it, but I’m just trying to share with others and help our community as a whole.

SHA’s Guide to Wax Play  by Stephanie McCartney (I used a lot of her own words.)