AI art by me.

The idea of discussing this was already rattling around in my mind, but a reader commented and put it at the forefront of my attention.  I’ve mentioned several times the idea of writing a book about recognizing, training, working with, and caring for a submissive.  It’s now for sure I’m going to start it.  I mention it because this would be one of the chapter headings.  I plan on asking for input from my readers for other chapter ideas.

Words mean things and titles or names are essential, too.  There are the basic ones for the dominant: Sir, Daddy, Master (insert first name here).  A whole host of adjectives can be used in tandem with the titles Sweet Sir, Dear Daddy, and Wicked Master.  I encourage my submissives to play with the adjectives depending on their mood.  Feel free to mention others I may have forgotten or not heard before.

For submissives, there are not quite as many basic ones as far as I know: sub, subby (for the younger generation), Good Girl, Babygirl, Kiddo (I read that somewhere but never heard it used), and Little One.  Adjectives can be used with these as well.  Once again, feel free to add what I’ve missed in the basic ones.

Now, we move into a different level of names or titles for submissives.  These would be associated with the degradation fetish of either the sub or Dom or both.  It’s like choosing between Coke and Pepsi.  You like one or another and maybe tolerate both, but there’s always a favorite flavor.

I do enjoy using the degradation terms, but I always ask about this first.  Using them just because you think you have the power to do so is a good way to lose a submissive quickly.  I’d reference my article on Adaption.  As one submissive recently told me, I enjoy using such terms because they make me feel “wickedly powerful.” At the same time, it verbally places her in an emotional position of kneeling with head bowed.  She’s right.  I’d add that if terms, titles, and sexy conversation don’t turn you on, then you “might not be a Dom or sub.” 

I’ve waited long enough now.  The terms most often used would be slut in several assorted flavors, some would say Babygirl is also a degradation of sorts, and I’ve used quite a few in my scripts for Selene.  One’s I’ve used there but not much elsewhere – but would love to – are fucktoy, porn princess, dirty whore, fuck doll, and sex slave; a new one I have seen some submissives enjoy is variations on the word cunt.  The funny thing is that word is not such a big deal in the UK, or so I’ve been told, and is used no matter the gender and would be interchangeable with bastard, fool, idiot, etc. 

There’s a submissive on BlueSky named Angeline.  She posts publical;y, so I don’t feel bad about using her name.  I got into this term conversation with her, and she proudly wears the terms of most of the ones I just listed.  My response was there are few things more beautiful than a submissive woman who is unafraid to own who she is at heart.  I had earlier asked her what she would want to be called by different men from different situations: Doms, Friends, etc.   I loved her answer about her Dom.  “Whatever he damned well pleases.”  While I applaud her willingness, submissives should still be consulted before a Dom starts slinging titles around.  The beauty of it is they will tell you which ones turn them on and even why.  God, I love submissives.

There’s no reason why you can’t come up with new ones.  Some submissives have less tolerance for slut variations or just want something more articulate.  A reader expressed this in wanting to suggest a better term for pain-slut would be pain-vixen.  If it works for her, then that’s what matters and what her Dom or Sir should understand.  My suggestion was a Spank Doll or Spank Toy.  This has a couple of fun connotations to me. 

When is it okay to use these terms, and when is it not?  Some submissives get really out of joint if any other submissive calls their Sir by the same title.  It’s a sign of respect and an acknowledgment of his identity.  Isn’t that supposed to be necessary these days?  My preference would be to be always called Sir when being spoken to by a submissive, but I don’t force it. 

The same holds true for Doms with their subs and the subs themselves.  Some Doms do not allow anyone else to call their submissive a slut or such.  They also do not allow them to accept Good Girl from anyone else (which, to me, should always be answered with Thank you, Sir).  Submissives also have the right to tell those, not their Dom not to use terms other than their given sub-name.  Always, ALWAYS check with her first.  It’s just respectful!

Lastly, I have stolen a term or name from the writings of John Norman’s Gor series.  A Collar Name is the name a new slave girl/woman gets when collared for the first time.  It is to delineate she is no longer the free person she was but is not this other person.  My adaption of that has been similar.  For example, if the submissive’s legal name is Paula, then I might give her a collar name of Polly when she submits to being my sub.  Why?  I tell her there are many naughty, nasty things Polly would be happy to do that Paula never would have.  It’s a simple but effective way to put them in a good mindset that they are no longer a vanilla girl.  I try to make it similar to the original to be more straightforward.  Brianne becomes Bree.  I wrote about a submissive who was so into being objectified that she wanted her collar name to be Toy…just Toy.  It was how she wished to be seen by anyone else. 

As said earlier, feel free to bring up terms I didn’t or didn’t know in the comments.  It would help me with writing this chapter and perhaps others. Thanks.

Master Grey/Sir Jon/Sir