Photo of item sold on Amazon…really!
This article was brought to mind by other blog posts and conversations I’ve had recently.
I am learning it is rather a standard rule or law for submissives of all flavors to have their orgasms owned by their dominant. It is also true of non-bdsm folks who are just Spankos etc.
For those who might not understand what I am saying, when a submissive gives their orgasms to their dominant or significant other; this means they cannot touch themselves or bring themselves to an orgasm without the express permission of said dominant or other.
In most cases, if not all, this means the submissive must ask and often beg for an orgasm. This fortifies or intensifies the power exchange dynamic between the two. I can speak for D/s dynamics to say this includes begging during sex before they are allowed to orgasm. It is rather fun to make them wait for it. Sorry, I digress.
Being well aware of this rule in D/s, I have been pleasantly surprised to find it more common than I had thought in other situations. Why do I say pleasantly? Because it seems…right. It seems right in the same way that if told Good Girl by their own dominant, then the sub should say Thank you, Sir. In the same way that no matter how embarrassing the compliment or where it is said, the sub says, thank you, Sir. Showing she does not argue with his opinion in regards to her. I don’t say I speak for all doms or subs in this matter. This is my personal feeling.
Another aspect of owning or controlling the orgasms of your submissive would be to make Chastity Belts unnecessary except for fun or to “rub their nose in it.” The idea of having the physical key is fun but is it truly a nice thing if you truly care about the submissive? I’d say no. A Domme or female dom who proudly wears the gold key to the cock cage of her submissive male is doing so to very much rub his nose in it and embarrass the hell out of him when anyone asks about it.
I’m not trying to be sexist here, but if I saw another Dom with a gold key around his neck or on a bracelet, I would not ask him about it or even think of it being a Chastity lock. Whereas women who have dominating feelings take great joy in asking about the key to helping embarrass said submissive. They can even ask to inspect it. What Dom is going to ask to inspect another Dom’s sub for her Chastity Belt? Hmm. I don’t think so.
If you control their orgasms, then what need for the extra devices?
Before I leave this topic, I do want to express how profound and fundamental a power exchange this is in a D/s dynamic. To be given or to give control of a person’s right to physically please themselves? It’s a big deal. It is not to be given or received lightly. The power from my side of it is…very hard to describe. This and other gifts of submission are more passionately powerful to me than the sex. I know! Bold statement, but it’s true, or should be true, for real doms and real subs. This is, again, my opinion.
What do you think?
Master Grey
Grey Man's Memoirs 
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