Grey Man's Memoirs

By

Grey Man

·

Tags:

Random Question #2: “Why?”

AI art by me

This is my second attempt to engage the submissive readers in a discussion. The first one went really well and I hope this one will, too.

I could go on and on about why the above art is so appealing to me way beyond asthetics, but I’ve already done that a lot.

This is me turning over the mic and opening up the floor to hear from the submissives in the audience. I will also add I would LOVE to hear thoughts from a few of the lurkers who I know at least dream of being a submissive if they are not one already.

Question: Why do you kneel? Why do you submit? What makes you a submissive and why do you enjoy it? Okay…three questions…sue me.

Responses to “Random Question #2: “Why?””

  1. VanillaW

    Not a submissive here, but a lurker and at least randomly a “dreamer” in the past : so, what made me fantasizing about submit to someone ? I have thought about it a while and read a lot fictions and some blogs, and what always appears is a huge huge need to be seen and to be known, and with that, to be wanted and needed. This, I believe, is a general truth and I didn’t escape this need. But I’m not sure this feeling is only reserved for submissive. I tend to believe that everyone feels like that and that we express it differently, it depends on our experiences of live (the real and the imaginative). For exemple, in occident, the boys are taught to be activ and to fulfill their needs and desires by taking what they want and keeping control : they are the predators who win the kind, soothing and sleeping beauty. In the other hand, the girls are taught to be the princess trophy, beautiful and desirable for prince charming (the predator is far too scary and brutal for young girls, so he is changed and sweetened as a prince charming), and they are taught to serve and appease the beast/person who will win them. Obviously, no one ever fits the boxes, but this model is strong enough to have some influence over our lives and fantasies. Some will prefer being wanted as a hunter/prince charming/Dom, and others as the princess trophy. Here, I think the difference between “vanilla” and “BDSM lifestyle” resides in the full awareness and the acceptance of the different roles in a relationship.

    I quit the “general truth” for the particular one : for me, this need (to be wanted and valued as I was) strongly decreased the more it was fulfilled : now I always feel wanted by my companion, wanted by my children and wanted by my colleagues (not for the same reasons, though !), and no single one of them need my submission, so I don’t need to submit in anyway and I don’t want to. Could I have become a submissive in another path of life ? Honestly… if asked very nicely (please sweet darling, I would love you submit to me), I would have give it a try ^^. I can’t say if it would have been a success ! Truth be said, I have felt this kind of real devotion for a man once – years ago – where I was totally aware of the inequity in our relationship : I could let him touch me without asking my consent, but I could absolutely not touch him without being asked (and I never touched him at all): I didn’t express that loud but he noticed and he said me that he was profundly touched and gratefull for that. It sufficed to make me feel utterly happy. I was ready to do/be many things (except quiting my companion), and in exchange, I was only asking for gentle attention. He gave me much time and love.

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      Wow. Thanks sooo much for being so open here. I understand you a lot better now and it just from shae’s blog. A head nod to you.

      Reply
  2. Spankedhortic II

    I don’t feel so submissive, more bratty 🙂 It is more about living up to the challenge of the play for me, rather than submitting. Except when it comes to pegging, but that is a totally different animal.

    Prefectdt

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      Thanks for your input. Yes, pegging is an entirely different subject and a very powerful one, too.

      Reply
  3. nora girl

    I say this with the utmost respect, Jon… you need to up your game around designing your questions. I’d say that many of the people here who identify as submissives have addressed these questions on their own blogs, over and over. So, let’s make it more interesting. What is it you really want to know about submissive women? Personally, I would love to see you start a discussion around what submissives find most challenging around their submission and why? Or, what is something you have learned about yourself through your submission? Food for thought 🙂 XOXO

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      Hmmm…the intellectual gauntlet has been thrown down! No, I know you have my very best interests at heart, nora. You ALWAYS have. You make some very good points here and I will, as usual, heed them. A smart Dom knows when to admit he can use the advise of a savvy and articulate submissive friend.

      On another note, I’m going to go a little further out onto this branch to say…I hope you are well and that you are reaching out to someone for help, advice, comfort, etc. Please, do.

      Reply
      1. nora girl

        I am grateful that you responded this way, even if I was being a bit bossy. I do look forward to the discussions you provide within our community, and I love how you bring us all together. And thank you for the compliment.

        I also appreciate you worrying about me. I am lucky to have the support of many around me, including dear olivia. She has been incredibly empathetic and supportive during this difficult time.

      2. Grey Man

        The thing about strong, intelligent submissives is a smart Dom knows when to get out of the way. I’ve found this leads to an even happier Dom. 🙂

        I’m very happy Olivia is there for you.

    2. olivia

      I love this challenge, Nora! 💜

      Reply
  4. Christian_who

    It shows me where I belong. At the very bottom, at the bottom of humanity. I am the filth of society. People have to spit on me, urinate on me, and despise me for my perverse thoughts. I feel so good when I’m exposed.

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      Wow, thank you so much for being so honest and so vulnerable for us. I hope you won’t mind and take it in the right way when I say good boy.

      Reply
  5. olivia

    Interesting post and great conversation. Nora, thanks for the kind words about me. I’m glad you know that I’m here for you.

    Sir Jon, submissives don’t decide to be submissive in order to fulfill our need to be seen and valued as we are. Women, or men, might do that in the vanilla world as a means to an end, or because they’ve been taught that’s how they’re supposed to be. It might come easily to them or they might struggle with it. But that kind of submission is more of a strategy to get your needs met.

    Submissive people, in the BDSM, sense just are that way. I suspect we’re born this way. I don’t think it’s a personality trait, or a way that we choose to be. I think it is closer to a sexual orientation. Like everyone else, we are likely to be happiest when we are seen and valued for being who we truly are, not by acting in a particular way that might be acceptable to others.

    In any case, it’s always interesting to think about and explore. Sorry I’m so late the party!

    Reply
    1. Grey Man

      You’re always welcome to the party any time you can make it. I like your take…born with it. I agree because I know it can be somewhat genetic in that family members can have very similar traits, too.

      Reply
      1. olivia

        Oh, yeah, maybe I can see genetic. Although, lol, I think of it as a kink. Maybe a genetic mutation. But even mutations can be passed down right?

Leave a comment