It is late and I am tired but I have thoughts running around in my head that may be gone in the morning, so here I am.

My thoughts originate from things I wrote earlier today, conversations I’ve had, and blogs I’ve read tonight. The main idea has been rattling around in my brain for a while and I may have already said it before but I’m old so I get to repeat myself if I wish.

Yes, this is tied up (hehehe) in a song. Shut Up and Dance has been on my playlist for a while. The main reason I like it, besides the thumping beat which can be helpful for all kinds of applications, is how it shows to me the HUGE difference in men and women.

The basic gist is our hero is asked to dance by this “teenage discoteque Juliet.” He is floored, surprised, that she asks him since he feels she is so out-of-his-league.

“Boy, don’t you dare look back just keep your eyes on me.” She tells him.

He, being the typical male, replies. “You’re holding back.” In other words, he can sense there is more to her actions than she is saying and he wants clarity, damn it. He wants to hear from her that she is interested and wants to pursue more.

Her response and the song title are: “Just Shut Up and Dance.”

She is trying to tell him to not fixate on the details or the goal or the destination. Please, just enjoy the journey, the dance, the byplay, let things happen and grow organically. Males tend to want things in a step-by-step manner that they can see and understand Females have steps as well but theirs are…different and a helluva lot more complex than males can understand.

The dance is better on their terms than on the male’s because of all the nuances. Guys suck at nuances for the most part. Gals excel at them because…well…they’re built differently from the ground up. I recently read where a submissive firmly believes Doms do not understand the power they have over their subs. I’m afraid that she’s right.

I’ve had another submissive voice to me how hard it is for an intelligent submissive woman in this world to find an articulate, intelligent man who is also a Dom!! I hadn’t thought of it that way. Science being what it is, there are more subs than Doms in the first place. I’ve also heard some horror-stories recently about the dating world for these same submissive women.

Yes, it is easy for a male, for me, to fixate on the goals, the endgame, the destination and forget the joys of the journey, the hunt, the byplay, the wordplay, the dance. When we or I forget that then it is easy to see us or me as being too rigid or fierce. There is a gentle side there but it can’t come out until the Dom or I feel secure enough to let it. Are we not human, do we not bleed? Lol.

Lastly, there are the Doms/Sirs who don’t or won’t let themselves get it. They won’t allow their subs the joys of suggesting an implement to use in discipline because it would affect her more strongly that day. They don’t wish to let their subs use toys for pleasure instead of only for punishment. Granted, it’s their choice. They ARE the Dom/Sir.

However, as I read earlier tonight, these Dom/Sirs are taking a huge risk of losing the sub they love either through neglect or just because they feel stifled in giving of themselves to the dynamic due to the iron fist of the dominant. Give back to her, let her have some room, she will still move the heaven and earth for you, but she will do more of it more willingly if she feels heard, appreciated, shown that her Dom/Sir really does know her worth.

It will make the times that require her to take extra lashes or harder punishments because he has his needs for whatever reasons much easier for her to do. She’ll love doing it for him instead of feeling required or expected to do it. It’s all too easy to fall into that trap and in the process sometimes we lose the very thing or person we cherished most.

Moral of the Story? Just Shut Up and Dance.

Master Grey