AI art by me.

In case you think she looks cross or unhappy, you’re right. She was meant to look that way for the purposes of my musing for this Sunday. As the title suggests, it deals with frustration. Specifically, I am going to deal with Submissive Frustration.

It isn’t an entirely new thought for me, and I have been kicking it around in my head. What coagulated it into a more solid form was a conversation I was having with a good friend. She was stating she was curious if certain kinds of religions had an affect on creating the number of spankos or lack thereof.

Spanko is a term used to convey these people are primarily into the act of being spanked or spanking by itself. They are not necessarily against BDSM or D/s dynamics but those are not a requirement to them to enjoy the act of spanking. They tend to get a little miffed at people making base assumptions that one is…ahem…tied to the other.

I took her idea and added it to something I had been ruminating on which is that certain religions do actively work to create submissive wives in the young women that are growing up in said religion. It’s spoken of fairly openly in their meetings and lessons. This is less true in the past few years but it still remains there…if cloaked under differing terminology.

The very strange thing to me is that nothing is done to condition, teach, explain, or prepare the young men in this same religion on what to do with said submissive wives. The only thing they are told is to not control unrighteously. That is very, very vague and not very helpful.

Without going into further criticism of this handling of the situation, I prefer to focus on the fallout of it. You have a large number of women who have been trained, indoctrinated, brought up to be submissive to their husbands. What happens to a submissive whose dominant has no idea what to do or handles things badly? Great, great amounts of frustration which lead to anger, disappointment, and eventually to resentment.

I’ve seen it, watched it, heard of it, etc. The woman looks to the man to give leadership and to put his foot down…somewhere. In the meantime, we have a society that wants men to wear soft slippers and pad quietly around women to not be toxically male. Even in plain, old society there are number of women who are looking around and going “crap, what did we do?” They then marry for security and find an actual dominant male to cheat with on the side.

There is a reason statistics show dominant, successful men have the opportunity at having multiple partners at the same time. There are a lot more women who want that kind of partner and a lot less men who want to or know how to be that kind of partner.

Sigh. Rubbing the bridge of my nose. For kicks and giggles, I did a search on Amazon to see if their were any books on how to handle a submissive. There are but, guess what? The majority of them are written by women. This is fine but where are the men who could be writing about this. Why does it matter? To be honest, some men react or listen better about things like this from another male. It would also be nice to think there were some out there who could explain it.

Until that time, there will continue to be a large portion of women who are rather frustrated, angry, or resentful about it all. They will use various means to seriously TOP from the BOTTOM while losing all respect for the head of their households. They will continue to spend extra time in the shower or reading dark romances in the dead of night. As they read, they will wish their husband was doing or would do what the character in the dark romance does.

Hopefully, someday things will change and the need for dominance in the a healthy relationship will be recognized, nurtured, and taught in a clear, conscise, and helpful manner. Someday.

Master Grey