Or…know when to shut up.

I must be in a musing sort of mood since this is my second article in this section but I just had this idea dying to come out and be put into words.

As a dominant, I used to think it was up to me what I said and when I said it when talking with submissives. This is more true when they are your submissives but still…this new idea or way of thinking still applies. I just wanted to be clear that no submissive is going to tell her dom or a dom what to say or not to say. It just doesn’t work like that, but I have learned through mistakes that I can say too much or go too far. This is what I am getting to in this subject. In NO WAY is this a call for lies of omission to be used. Honesty is still always key.

Okay, perhaps you haven’t read my About info or anything about me, so for context I not only identify as a dominant but also polyamorous. I have always preferred the company of women to men and even, when I was married, I enjoyed her friends more than their husbands. It was usually reciprocated. I will also willingly interject here that I am disabled in some ways. Growing up, it was much nice to hang around the girls than the guys. They smelled a lot better and acted a lot nice. Could be why I became who I am today.

It’s rather ironic because the readers who need this article might be the ones who don’t read it that much. My male readers tend to just enjoy the stories and that’s fine! That’s what they are here for. I just happen to know these articles back here will get much more readership from my female readers. I’d be overjoyed to be wrong. Why do the men need this article? That’s easy! Women already know the art of what not to say. How do they? You ask? Because of having to step around the egos of all the men in their lives from their fathers to brothers to relatives to teachers to bosses and so forth.

Women, for the most part, have already mastered the art of subtlety. Men never really get taught it that much unless they have a strong mother figure who makes sure they do or they grow up around a lot of sisters. I was not privy to this art at an early age. I began to grasp it some as I became an adult but the nuances of it still escaped me for quite a while. I blundered about and said more than needed frequently.

In this iteration of myself, as opposed to the Jon Masters one, I’ve started to catch on better. I would posit that submissive women are even more complicated than vanilla ones. The art of learning when to shut up and be happy is even harder with them. I have a few submissive women friends. I am not in a dynamic with anyone at this time, but it is good to have these friends. Submissive women have a way of giving little gifts of submission silently to you through either their actions, their words, or a combination of both. If you want these gifts to keep happening then you keep fairly quiet about it and just be appreciative in a subtle way.

Whew. I could give some examples of this but then I’d be saying things when I shouldn’t be saying them. Yeah, it’s like that…that’s how complicated it can be. It’s a helluvalot of fun! But complex in its nature. Only thing I can offer to doms in the way of advice is to remember what the essence of being a submissive woman means. Be observant and LISTEN. You may surprised at what you hear and see. One example I can give is to watch Pride and Prejudice (The BBC one with Colin Firth in clingy pants). Watch the facial expression and listen hard to what is said and what is NOT said. It becomes a whole new kind of story with those subtleties understood.

If I’m still not making sense to some of you? I’m sorry. My old career was spent in teaching and I learned to my amusement and the irritation of my male students that I could have a complete conversation that I and all the females understood but the males did not. I only ever did that to show as an example of the differences in how we communicate. An author I enjoy once wrote that women communicate on up to five different levels: what they say, what they don’t say, how they said it, their facial expression as they did, and, lastly, their body language. Watching the body language of women who don’t know what they are giving off is hilarious because it’s fairly easy to see when they like a man. Men usually are clueless to it.

– Master Grey